What's in a Name?

Have you ever wondered about a name? How someone came about it or what thought went into it or even what a name says about the person or product it represents? Did you realize that we have a physical reaction when we hear a name... either good or well...

I have been thinking about the importance of a name and how a even persons very destiny can be attached to it. 

Think for a moment about some names you know....
Michael Jackson...









Marilyn Monroe...












Anna Nicole Smith...













I don't know about you but for me with each name above there is a kind of tragedy... So much sadness attached to those names.

Now what about these:
Walt Disney...












Steve Jobs...










Albert Einstein...












Automatically we are prone to feeling success and happiness associated with these names. Why?

It's because your legacy is attached to your name. So what is your name saying about you? What legacy are you penning out on the tablets of the hearts closest to you everyday? What about those in your realm of influence? How do the people around you react when they hear the very mention of your name?

I have been thinking so much about this this lately...

When my husband and I found out we were expecting another child so soon after the loss of our Samuel Joseph (Samuel-God has heard & Joseph-God will add) we were filled with joy but at the same time fearful to lose again... Those of you that have ever been through this kind of loss know the fear I am talking about. However, the one thing we knew is that we had to name this precious life that God placed within my womb with purpose and destiny. So our search began... When I was close to 5 months we had a horrible scare with our baby girl- I hemorrhaged and my husband rushed me to the hospital where tests were ran and I was ordered to bed rest laying flat for the next several days. It was as if we were holding our breath for the days that followed. We called everyone we knew to pray for this baby within my womb. God answered our prayers and protected the fragile life inside my body and we knew that this little girl I carried was a miracle. We named her Abigail Eliana (Abigail- my Father rejoices & Eliana- God has answered me).

I know some people will be cynical and balk at this blog chalking it up to nonsense or fanaticism but I know what life has held for me and I know where I came from. I know who I once was and I have seen transformation and rebirth through my own personal life and the life of my husband.  II Corinthians 5:17 says, "For if a man belongs to Christ, he is a new person. The old life is gone. New life has begun".


I think back at times to that girl from my past, not to dwell on her but to remind her that she isn't wounded and broken like  she once was but that everyday she awakens is a new day of redemption. That each day I am given the opportunity to live my life now and live it with the richness and the fullness of His restoring power. 

I think back to the preparation of my wedding day and how I struggled with feeling like an unworthy bride for my soon to be husband. Many nights I would cry and feel like he deserved someone pure. That I was somehow cheating him out of God's best offering of a snow white bride. I was really struggling internally almost to the point of letting him go.

I remember coming to church one morning after I had spent the weekend searching high and low for the perfect wedding dress for our day. Every time I put on that white dress and looked into the mirror I felt ashamed and so very unworthy to wear it. I had given up and come to the conclusion that my next search would be for a cream or off white dress. As I was going to church I continued to wrestle intensely. I went inside with a smile on my face and pretended things were "fine".

After the service, a very dear and precious lady (that had taken me under her wing and had been mentoring me) approached me she hugged me tightly and whispered softly into my ear the following words, "God wanted me to tell you to get the white dress for your wedding day for He has washed you white as snow. The person you once were exists no longer, it's time to let her go and step into your place as the beautiful bride that you are."  At that very moment I broke into a thousand little pieces and sobbed as this precious lady held me and prayed for me. I cannot even begin to explain to you the peace and healing that washed over me in those next several moments.

Looking back it was in that very moment I came to the realization that a sovereign holy God changed this broken child's name. It was in that very moment on on that very day I finally realized it. There have been bursts of those moments in the years that have followed that has given me hope, healing, and unfailing love. The kind of love that takes a woman broken into a million pieces and begins to transform her into a beautiful mosaic masterpiece.

My prayer for you precious one is that you too would come to know this unfailing love and redemption.

My name means: "Bringer of glad tidings" & "Lively" and this is what I pray to be every morning God blesses me with a brand new day.


Father God,
I pray that you would be the changer of our names that we would allow you to mold and shape our destinies. That we would get out of the way and allow those past burdens to roll off we would release every name that has been spoken over us out of hurt and every name that the enemy has used to tear us down.
Restore our hearts O Lord.
In Jesus Mighty and precious name
~Amen 

BTW~ My husband's name means: God will save me & God is exhalted. Our oldest daughter's name means: Innocent, holy, & honorable and our son's name means: Lightbringer & Fire of the Lord.


This is a song my husband sings and it brings tears to my eyes every time. Listen to the lyrics:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~ Sowing Seeds for the Harvest ~

Life has been awkward and quirky lately. We are all trying to settle in and are having a season of restlessness. We recently took a vacation to get back together after the fall business had set in and we were all scrambling to cling together while life was pulling us in every direction. Funny how even the best of things can do that to a family.

                                                         

So we all loaded up the mini van and away we went to the mountains. No we didn't get a miracle cure for our problems or challenges but we did get precious moments together that we can store up in our heart's treasury to pull from when we are all going through tough times. Memories that will make our hearts smile when life is zooming lemons at us.

                                                            

Before our trip I had begun to get in a rut again (my Pastor defines a rut as a grave with the ends knocked out). I was really beginning to lose heart and depression had begun to settle in.

I know for a lot of stay at home moms this is really quite common place, although taboo to talk about. Maybe it's a pride thing or maybe it's the incredible need for perfection. I am not sure. Whatever the reason the isolation and silence was killing me daily. I had lost my spark, my passion, my hunger, my light was dim and my resolve gone. 

                                                           

I thank God daily for a husband that has truly sacrificed by marrying me. His unconditional selfless love has truly at times saved my life. He sees past my walls and loves me past my stubbornness and I would be half a person without him. My kids are so resilient and strong it amazes me to see them blossom into beautiful individuals perfect not by a long shot but growing daily into who God wants them to be.

So while on our journey to get back to each other I realized that with all my buzzing around, my to do lists, my obligations I had nugged MY relationship with the Lord out of the way. No I wasn't backsliden. I still went to church and did devotions daily. But my heart had slipped away from my first love and as a result it affected every relationship in my life. I was negative and angry. Quick to judge and slow to listen to others. I had little or no compassion. Everything frustrated me. I was miserable. And you know the old sayings , "When momma ain't happy ain't nobody happy"  or "happy wife happy life". 

The funny thing about a homeschooling family is you are around each other 24/7. You know everything about one another. There is no escape lol.... Yes, that is a perk but it is also at times a thorn. We want to grow together #1 in our walk with God and #2 in our walk with one another but there are those times in each one of our lives when we shouldn't be under the same roof together, lol. There are those times you just need to get a breath. Re-evaluate. Reflect. Redirect.  

So we were able to make up lost ground and take back some valuable and desperately needed family time.

I think the biggest lessons that I learned, once again, is 1) that God's grace is much bigger than my failures and His love covers a multitude of sins. 2) I am harder on myself than others are on me. 3) That we must teach our children forgiveness by asking for it and extending it ourselves. 4) That it is never too late to start over again and that family truly is forever!!! 

Martha vs. Mary~ 9/8/10

Life is full of many things~
joys
sorrows
exhilarations
pains (some heartaches can even can take your breath away)
fulfillments
disappointments
~Just to name a few.

For a while now I've been out of sorts and disconnected, estranged from my life as crazy as it may sound. But the one thing that has remained a constant is my God is faithful!! Today I renewed a commitment (loyalty: devotion or dedication, for example, to a cause, person or relationship).

To fully persue Him at any cost, which now means that I must give up those things that have taken His rightful place in my heart and my life. The clutter that has crept in and choked out my passion, dreams, and fire. I mean sure it would be easy just to continue to remain stagnant and tepid. To harden my heart to the Holy Spirit relentless attempts to shake me from my slumber.

To remain lackadaisical in my Christian walk that renders me powerless and ineffective in any attempt to impact the world for my precious Savior who gave so much to see me change my sphere of influence for His glory.

You see, now that I am aware of what the problem is, I now become accountable to change what has been revealed to me. Knowing that you have a problem is the easy part but CHANGING the problem that's the hard part. I then have to avert energy and time into the uncomfortable, messy, and painful process of construction.

Allowing God the access road into the deep, hidden, and innermost places of our hearts can be very uncomfortable because even though He wants to change us for His glory (and because He loves us) we still are faced with the ugliness of our sin and it's nature in us.

Many Christians get so prideful (see Matthew 7 ) always judging everyone around them and counting out their neighbor's flaws because it's just to painful to search their own heart and allow God to do the heart surgery He desperately longs to do in each one of us if we'd only sign the consent forms.

We then are vunerable to the enemy's attacks of bitterness and unforgiveness that are dams that block the mighty gushing rivers of His healing flood from being poured in our lives.

So these past few days I have went through the painful process of seaching my heart and crying out to my God to show me where I am falling short and missing the mark.

And in His mercy and with His grace and by His unfailing love ever so softly He gently whispers, "I miss you terribly just come and rest a while with me. You have been running around back and forth doing, doing, doing that you have pushed me out and away. Just come and sit a while. you and Me."

WOW!!! I know to some of you you are like well "Duh! yea, ya gotta spend time with Him" and in my head I know what I gotta do but my heart had gotten stoney and hardened, so weighed down by the weight of obligations and responsibilities with duties and with routines of LIFE that I was missing the most important thing RELATIONSHIP!

I mean don't get me wrong I was doing good things, godly things but had gotten caught up in a "Martha lifestyle" Some of you women know what I mean. We get so busy caring for everyone and planning and making sure that things run smoothly that we grow bitter and cold because we see all the sacrifices that we are making and then we look over only to find Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus and she looks like she is not doing anything just wasting precious time that she could be using to help us. When what we because of our resentment and in anger fail to realize is that she is doing the most important thing of all growing in her RELATIONSHIP.

Luke 10:38-42- 38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" 41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Now we have to make sure things are getting done we can't just chuck it all away and not do anything for the kingdom of God, however, we need that balance of service and relationship. I had allowed the cares of this world to choke out my relationship with the only one that can and will sustain me. I had in a sense cut off my lifeline and was dying on the vine.

So I will do what I know to do~ ask for forgivness and then move on. Because God is faithful and just He will forgive, restore, and redeem.

Precious Father,
Thank You that you hear the desparate cries of your children
I have missed You and I don't want to miss out on another second of time spent with You
Take this broken life and use it to bring You glory
Restore to me the joy of my salvation and renew a right spirit within me
I desire to be an empty vessel that is filled with Your unfailing love that when my life is poured out into others it affects them in a Mighty and Powerful way for You!
All my love
In Jesus Name~